We know why! Let’s be honest—making friends as an adult is a whole damn struggle. Gone are the days of carefree playground chats and spontaneous meetups after school. Now, adult friendships feel like a distant memory or a far-off dream that’s always just out of reach. Between work, responsibilities, and the hustle of everyday life, socializing often takes a backseat. And when you do find the time to meet new people, it can feel like you’re in a never-ending cycle of awkward small talk and surface-level connections. But don’t throw in the towel just yet. It’s tough, sure, but it’s not impossible. Let’s break down why making friends as an adult is so hard—and what you can do about it.
First things first: life as an adult is busy. When you’re juggling work, relationships, and trying to maintain some semblance of self-care, socializing becomes one of the first things to slip off your radar. Add to that the fact that many of us move away from home or stop seeing our college friends regularly, and suddenly we’re isolated, with fewer opportunities to meet new people. Plus, there's the added layer of adulthood’s emotional baggage: we’re more guarded, more cynical, and frankly, more exhausted than when we were younger. Let’s not forget the social awkwardness that comes with starting over—you’re not exactly jumping into a room full of people looking to be besties. It feels like everyone’s already set in their ways, and you're just trying to squeeze your way into the fold. And honestly? It’s overwhelming.
Then, there’s the pressure. In your twenties and beyond, everyone’s busy with their own lives. You can’t just show up to a party and expect instant connections the way you did at school. People are picky about their friends—understandably, no one wants to spend time with someone who’s not a good fit. So, you find yourself stuck in this weird limbo: not quite fitting into the social circles around you, but too tired to keep trying.
What the Solution Is
Here’s the thing: the solution is not some magical quick fix. Making adult friends takes work, patience, and a willingness to get uncomfortable. First, start by shaking off that “everyone already has their group” mentality. It’s easy to feel like the door has closed, but the truth is, people are always looking for new connections. They may not be as vocal about it, but deep down, they feel the same loneliness and longing for real connection that you do. So, start putting yourself out there. Join meetups, attend social events, take classes—whatever gets you around new people. Stop waiting for someone to invite you, and instead, make the first move.
Next, drop the perfection act. You don’t need to be polished or put-together to make friends. Be authentic, be yourself, and embrace the awkwardness that comes with putting yourself out there. The best connections come when you’re being real, flaws and all. And finally, remember that friendship doesn’t happen overnight. It’s about creating shared experiences and finding common ground. Don’t expect instant deep bonds—allow those relationships to grow naturally over time.
It’s Hard, But Not Impossible
Yes, making friends as an adult is tough. It’s messy, awkward, and often feels like a lost cause. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. The key is persistence, vulnerability, and getting out of your comfort zone. You don’t need a hundred friends; you just need a few genuine connections. So, don’t let the challenges of adulthood stop you from finding your people. Keep showing up, keep being yourself, and let the friendships unfold at their own pace. You’ve got this.
Continue The Friendship Conversation:
Check out Season 2, Episode 1 "Why It's Hard To Make Friends As An Adult" on our podcast! Available on Spotify & major streaming platforms! You can also view this episode through our website or on Youtube.
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