To make friends, you have to be a friend! Creating community and friendship comes from putting yourself out there, being welcoming/inclusive, and showing up consistently to events/people in your life. It takes communicating and making the effort. Unfortunately, friends don't just show up at your doorstep (Unless your BFF are Jehovah's Witness or Door Dashers!)
Steps To Make Friends:
Embrace the Awkward The key to making friends as an adult is getting comfortable with discomfort. You’re not going to make deep, lasting connections without putting yourself out there—and that means dealing with some awkward moments. Whether it’s striking up a conversation at a coffee shop or attending a random meetup, be prepared for those moments of cringing awkwardness. But here’s the twist: the more you embrace it, the easier it gets. Take the plunge and stop overthinking every interaction. People appreciate genuine effort, even if it’s a little messy.
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone If you’re waiting for someone to knock on your door and invite you to a life-changing hangout, spoiler: it’s not going to happen. You have to get off the couch, put down your phone, and get in the game. Join a class, volunteer, or even try a new hobby. You’re not going to meet new people sitting at home scrolling through social media. By stepping into new spaces, you not only open the door to new experiences but also to potential friendships. Yes, it’s daunting, but it’s the first step in making new connections.
Be Intentional Making friends as an adult isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality. So, don’t waste time on people who don’t vibe with you. Focus on building relationships with those who share your interests, values, or sense of humor. Be intentional about your social life. Don’t just attend events and hope something happens. Reach out, suggest plans, and put in the effort to meet people who actually fit into the life you want. Friendships are built on shared experiences, so start creating them.
Use Social Media to Your Advantage We’re not talking about scrolling endlessly through your feed. Social media can actually be a great tool for making real-world connections if you use it right. Join local Facebook groups, check out Meetup for events in your area, or slide into someone’s DMs to ask about local activities. But—here’s the kicker—don’t hide behind the screen. Take the conversation offline and suggest grabbing coffee or checking out an event. The digital world is full of opportunities, but it’s the face-to-face interactions that will actually form the bond.
Follow Up Once you do meet someone cool, make sure to follow up with them quickly! Time plays a big role in developing friendships. You want to show that you care and see value in them as a potential friend.
Be A Friend To Yourself Just like romantic relationships, you can't be there for others if you're not there for yourself! Make friends with similar interests/hobbies. Don't befriend anyone who makes you feel less than. Show up for yourself - shower, maintain a clean home/body, get well-rested, prioritize your needs! When you feel your best, you show up as your best! Confidence is attractive and will draw people to you. It's easier to build friendships when you're mentally/physically/emotionally in a good place. This stops you from getting wrapped up into toxic friendships and self-hate.
How to Be a Friend
It’s not all about meeting new people; it’s also about being the kind of friend you’d want to have. Being a good friend means being present, supportive, and reliable. It’s about showing up for people, even when life gets chaotic. Friendships are a two-way street, and you have to be willing to put in the effort. Stay in touch, plan activities, and be there when it counts. Don’t just wait for people to come to you—be proactive in nurturing those relationships. Let people know you care, and be ready to give as much as you get.
Making Friends Isn’t Impossible, It’s Just a Challenge
Friendships are the glue that holds us together, making life richer, funnier, and more meaningful. So, step out of your comfort zone, embrace the awkward, and start building the connections you’ve been craving. It’s time to stop waiting for the perfect moment and create the friendships you deserve. Go ahead—make your move.
Continue The Friend Conversation:
Check out Season 2, Episode 2 "How To Make Friends" on our podcast! Available on Spotify & major streaming platforms! You can also view this episode through our website or on Youtube.
Have a travel friend story to share?! We would love to hear it! Leave us a comment or message us at hardtomakefriends@gmail.com
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